Kids are expensive. Parents are always excited when their kids grow up and are finally ”off the payroll”.
Still, when we are together with our son, we always tell him, “it’s on us”.
We’ve been blessed financially. We also only have one child. He’s a smart guy and handles his money well.
As a result of all of these things, it’s very easy for us to pick up the tab when we are out to dinner, when we get theater tickets, or a flight when we can tempt him to come see us in Florida during the winter.
After all, it feels like the best use of our money is to spend it together now. We would rather enjoy experiences together than have it sit in the bank and go unused until one of us can’t be there anymore.
That doesn’t mean we blow big bucks on silly things. We haven’t bought matching father / son sports cars or anything (although that sounds like an amazing weekend!). No, we just try to organize some fun activities, shows/concerts, and vacations together when we can. Those are great splurges!
Full disclosure … he’s also still on our cell phone plan! 🙂
How do you handle spending money in your kids?
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MrFireStation 
Two of our three sons are on the parents pay for almost everything plan. My wife and I are fortunate that it puts absolutely no strain on our budget. We do encourage them to save and invest their earnings.
Uncontrolled immigration and H1-b’s have created excessive demand for housing, depresses wages and drive budget deficits caused using government services. Definitely not the same economics that I experienced when starting out.
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Our son is financially independent from us and a good saver. As a software engineer, he does worry about the long-term impact of AI on his vocation.
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We have four children between us, the youngest aged 29, it was a real challenge getting he and his wife off our cell phone plan when the time came. I recognize the savings of the “family plans”, but part of being an adult is being self-sufficient…time to cut the string.
We are this year starting to gift cash to each child and this initial gifting we do in person. The final child will receive the gift tonight. We do not place strings on gifting or gift based on need. One child lives overseas with spouse and are in the non-profit world, one is retired military but both spouses work and I suspect income in the $250-$300K range yet they still borrow money to buy vehicles! We don’t direct uses of gift, but I suspect they feel pressure to spend or save in an appropriate manner.
We always pick up the check when we are with them and often slide them cash for reimbursement of flights when they travel to visit.
I would not consider us to be wealthy, but we are well off. They all know that we are frugal by nature and dislike waste. We tell them that parents of adult children should provide a safety net, not a hammock.
We are fortunate to have this ability and after pension, social security (spouse) and consulting income, we still do not touch retirement accounts or investments.
We also contribute to 529 plans for grandchildren of $18,000 which we tell their parents. We have fully funded one grandchild and the other obligation will be fulfilled in six months. They are both young. Even though one will be eligible for a VA tuition benefit, their 529 accounts which have been pre-fully funded will have considerable growth in them when the time comes.
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Great phrase:
“A safety net, not a hammock” …!
We gifted / subsidized our son’s rent when he lived in our rental townhouse near us, because it was way oversized for his needs. Since he moved out, we stopped gifting cash.
Like you, I think we’ll want to get back in the business of moving some $ inheritance his direction at some point. Maybe put it into his IRA.
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