Early Retirement Fun – #HowIQuit on Jimmy Fallon

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Earlier this year, Jimmy Fallon issued a hashtag challenge on Twitter for people to “Tweet out a funny, weird, or embarrassing way you quit a job and tag with #HowIQuit“. About a eight of them were featured on the show that night (link to video here). Since dozens more were tweeted out, I thought I would share the Top 50 I read online …

  • One Mon morning my co-worker was a no-call no-show. He sent an email that simply said “Today I am retired”
  • Told my boss, “I’m quitting to pursue my dream of not working here.”
  • My last day on the job I gave my manager a copy of the movie, “Two Weeks Notice”
  • Made my bosses & coworkers goodie bags full of candy. Then told them I was quitting.

  • My coworkers & I quit as a group. We told our boss off & then left together in a limo we had waiting for us in the parking lot.
  • When I was a Pizza Hut driver, boss wouldn’t let me take lunch break so I ordered Domino’s & they delivered it to me at Pizza Hut.
  • Quit 1st job at ice cream shop bc I had to wear all white & ponytail. Later became a nurse and had to wear all white & ponytail.
  • My boss was mean to everyone. Walked in her office to quit. Didn’t have to tell her. She was dead in her chair. No one grieved.
  • I tried to make a dramatic exit at a restaurant job. On the way out I ran into the glass door and knocked myself out.
  • “You need to come to work” “I’m not coming. I quit” “U need to give 2 weeks notice” “Let’s pretend we had this talk 2 weeks ago”
  • Tried to terminate my employment by email, but due to an unfortunate typo the company now thinks I’m really into quilting
  • “I was caught smoking a joint. My boss said, “you wanna work or smoke pot all day?” Easiest decision I ever made.
  • My Coworker took everyone’s order for coffee shop then never came back. People were More concerned about where their coffee was.
  • I left peacefully and amicably. I was so proud of myself! Then I used the restroom on my way out and clogged the toilet.
  • The #HowIQuit trend seems like a convenient way for your future employers get a peek at the REAL you
  • I looked my boss dead in the eye and shouted “I hate this job and I hate all of you!” Then I ran away crying.
  • I didn’t show up at work. They called and asked where I was, I told them job hunting and hung up.
  • My boss called me “la menteuse” (the liar) to her husband, not knowing I spoke French. I told her I was not a liar & walked out.
  • 6mos pregnant positioned myself in hallway under security camera and faked dramatic fainting session to “prove” work was too hard
  • While picking beans on a hot summer day, I made an escape plan. I picked a direction and ran.
  • I do this every time I change jobs: I take my business cards and shuffled them in to the middle of all my coworker’s cards.
  • I called my boss on April Fools Day and said I wasn’t coming in. He thought I was joking, I wasn’t.
  • I took my boss to lunch, then I asked her to pay the lunch bill because I’d be broke starting the next month.
  • While on a field trip in a dense forest, escorting 20 kids, got news that I got the job I WANTED. I hope the kids got back okay.
  • I quit a job once on Hawaiian Shirt Day. Put my notice on an inflatable alligator that said, ‘See ya later alligators.’
  • I bought everyone ice cream except for my boss. After work I said to my boss “I think I made my point.” and never returned.
  • Walked into Boss’s Office. Removed Pan-Flute & sheet #music from backpack. Played Johnny Paycheck’s, “Take This Job and Shove It”.
  • My co-worker and I spelled out “I quit” with multiple pairs of Nike shoes in the middle of the store
  • My friends, dressed as CIA agents, ran in my office yelling “We finally got you!” and chased me out the door. I never went back.
  • A friend called corporate and complained on herself so she would get fired.
  • Went to pick up my manager’s daily Starbucks. I had the barista write “I quit” as the name on the cup. I delivered it and left.
  • A co-worker of mine got arrested at work while waiting tables. I went to bail him out instead of showing up for my shift.
  • I was at work and extremely sick. Boss came by and I asked if I could leave, she said no. I threw up on her and left.
  • What’ve you got against the Navy?” “Nothing big–but I’ve got soooooo many little things.” Grandpa quitting naval service.
  • Working at a bakery, I spilled all the sprinkles, made a sprinkle angel and left.
  • The boss said, “We should talk about your performance.” I said, “Let me spare us both this awkward conversation…”
  • My wife put her resignation letter in a customer’s sandwich. She told me later, “I’m sure it got to the person it’s intended for.”
  • I’d eat pepperoni off pizzas as I was delivering, Got busted. Customer said, I’m calling your boss. I said,,”cool, tell him I quit”
  • On a conference call with my boss. Texted a buddy that I got a new job because my boss is a moron. Accidently texted my boss
  • I was Chuck E. Cheese and took off my head in front of a hundred kids… Probably scarred them for life
  • I once worked as Santa’s elf in a mall, I told Santa for Christmas I wanted a new job. I went for break and never came back.
  • I walked into work with a confetti canon and shaving cream cans told my boss i was out and shot them off
  • I didn’t show up at work. They called and asked where I was, I told them job hunting and hung up.
  • New guy at the office. on his first day he went out to buy lunch and left a voicemail saying he had found a new job.
  • didn’t tell any coworkers when i quit. Everyone thought i hadn’t been scheduled in a while & kept asking me to cover their shifts.
  • My boss sent me on a coffee run. I got coffee but I never came back with it. I ended up drinking his coffee too
  • Jokingly yelled to my boss across the room that i was quitting. a customer came up to me and said “ok but can you help me first?”
  • Made my boss think his wife had set up a “romantic scavenger hunt” on Valentines Day. While he was chasing “clues”, I left.
  • Told them I had to fly out of the state due to a family emergency (which was false). I just never returned…
  • I once was told to mop a floor again for the 4th time. I spelled “You mop it” in soap and left.

Image Credit:  NBC Tonight Show

Tweets from Twitter #HowIQuit

3 thoughts on “Early Retirement Fun – #HowIQuit on Jimmy Fallon

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